I have been practicing yoga off and on for many years. I love everything about it. I always walked out of a session exhausted and so relaxed.

I have been going to yoga at a clinic where my acupuncture Dr practices. Last year, I participated in a monthly Yin Yoga Chakra session. Each one was a different Chakra and ended with the crown Chakra just 2 days before surgery. I was excited to possibly participate again this year.

The clinic offers free community yoga once a month. My surgeon had said to try to yoga so I thought why not? I signed up for a session this coming Sunday. Hesitant, but decided to go for it.

I got the reminder email today and told my aide about it. She asked if I thought I could do it. I said I have no idea but was thinking I’d could keep my cane next to my mat to be able to get off the floor. She thought I should try it at home first. She got my cane from my car. And…

I got on the floor ok. Then I tried child’s pose. The easiest pose there is. Nope nope nope. I couldn’t get anywhere near child’s pose. My spine would not let me. At all. Then I tried chataranga to cobra. I mean, I do planks at PT every session.  The chataranga was fine but going to cobra was an absolute no. No no no. Then I got off the floor, using my cane, and promptly cancelled my reservation.

This wasn’t a failure because I wasn’t strong enough or needed to stretch. This failed because my spine is a titanium rod from my shoulders to hips. There is no flexibility at all. Nothing is going to change that.

I am going to go through some movements and find standing ones that I can maybe attempt. And of course I’ll look for modifications.

I was also active in pilates before surgery. I’m going to try a private session at my studio to see what I can do. Crossing my fingers I find a match.

So my normal yoga days are over. I’m sad. Really sad. It’s been a part of my life for probably 25 years. Something i could always count on to focus my energy, mind, breath. I never left a studio sad or angry.

Time to find a new activity that gives me the same benefits. Suggestions are welcome.